.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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