We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
