You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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