Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
