She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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