WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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