So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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