butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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