Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
