I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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