and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
