M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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