There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
