You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
