Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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