My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
