he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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