I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
