So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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