i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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