Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
