too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My penis needs a shock collar
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
