Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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