I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize