Have you finally orgasmed yet?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You took a bar mat shot.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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