Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
