So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
