After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
