what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
