True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize