Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
