I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
