I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
