margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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