we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
