I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
