I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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