Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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