just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
