Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
