peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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