What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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