I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
