I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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