You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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