Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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