CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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