he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
