ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just found a bag of teeth...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
