At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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