After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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