Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
