How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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