If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
