Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
