"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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