Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
