this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
