she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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