Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize