Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
