I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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