I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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