How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
